As children grow, they become increasingly aware of how their bodies look and how others perceive them. For many young people, this can lead to self-consciousness or even serious body image concerns.
As a parent, your influence plays a powerful role in shaping how your child views themselves, and small, mindful changes in how you speak and behave can make a big difference. Here are some tips to help you support a healthy body image in your child:
- Be Mindful of the Language You Use Around Food
- The way we talk about food can create unhelpful associations for children. Avoid terms like “cheat day,” “being good,” or “guilt-free” when talking about meals or snacks. This can give your child an idea that there are good and bad foods.
- Speak about food as fuel: all foods have a place in our diet, but some are more nutritious than others.
- Emphasise balance and nourishment: For example, “vegetables give us vitamins to help us feel strong, and carbs give us energy for school and sport.”
- Treat foods like cake, lollies or fast food as occasional choices, not forbidden or shameful ones. Saying “that doesn’t have much nutrition, but it’s delicious and okay to enjoy sometimes” sets a healthy tone.
- Model a Positive Relationship with Your Own Body
- Children internalise how you talk about your body and your eating habits. Avoid making negative comments about your own appearance or weight, such as “I look fat” or “I need to lose weight before the holidays.”
- Eat regular meals and model balanced, flexible eating. If your child sees you skipping dinner because you “had a big lunch,” they may believe that’s what they should do too.
- Eating a small piece of dessert, as we “do not want to put weight on again” reinforces the idea of good and bad food. It also highlights the notion that being a certain weight is bad. Instead say things like “I’m only going to have a small piece of cake, as the sugar is going to give me a lot of energy and I don’t need that before bed” (this emphasises the food as fuel)
- Speak kindly about your body, focusing on function and appreciation, for example, “I love how strong my legs are for walking and chasing you around!”
- Avoid Criticising Your Child’s Eating or Body
- Comments, even well-intentioned ones, can have lasting impacts.
- Avoid pointing out weight gain or restricting your child’s food “for their own good.” This can lead to shame and disordered eating.
- Instead of focusing on appearance, praise your child for their efforts, kindness, or creativity. Their self-worth should never be tied to how they look.
- Teach Media Literacy and Encourage Realistic Role Models
- Social media and TV shows can set unrealistic body standards. Talk to your child about how many photos online are filtered, edited, or taken at specific angles to hide imperfections.
- Help them follow influencers or public figures who reflect diverse and realistic body types, especially those who resemble your child.
- Avoid, or if not possible, encourage discussion about media messages. For example, shows from the early 2000s often promoted thinness as the ideal. Exploring how those portrayals made characters behave and feel can be helpful, when children are exposed.
- Reinforce the message: “There is no perfect body. What matters is what’s healthy and strong for you.”
- Support Your Child Through Puberty
- Body changes are natural, but often misunderstood by children. Talk to your child about the hormonal and physical changes that occur during puberty.
- Explain that changes in body shape, weight, or skin are biological, not something they’ve done wrong.
- Normalise the wide range of growth patterns and timelines. Every body develops at its own pace.
- Promote Healthy Habits for the Right Reasons
- Encourage movement and nutrition from a place of wellbeing, not appearance.
- Avoid framing exercise as a way to “burn off food” or “stay slim.” Instead, talk about feeling strong, energetic, or improving mood.
- Make meals and activities enjoyable and social, something to do together as a family.
- Be a Safe Space for Open Conversations
- Your child may be struggling silently. Let them know they can talk to you. You can do this by asking open-ended questions like:
- “How do you feel about the way people talk about bodies online?”
- “Has anyone ever said something that made you feel uncomfortable about your body?”
- Validate their feelings without judgment.
Every comment, every meal, every shared moment is a chance to shape how your child views themselves. Focusing on self-worth, health, and acceptance over appearance builds lifelong resilience, and your voice matters more than you know.
When to Seek Help
If your child’s body image concerns are causing distress, or interfering with daily life, it’s worth seeking professional support.
At Mind Up Psychology, we’re passionate about helping children and families through all of life’s challenges. You can book a free intake call today to speak with one of our team members.
Helpful Resources
- Recommended TED Talk for parents to watch: You are more: Overcoming Eating Disorders and Redefining Self-Worth | Tabor DeFore | TEDxBoulder
- Book to read with your child: Love Your Body: Your body can do amazing things…: Sanders, Jessica, Rossetti, Carol: 9780711252424: Amazon.com: Books (ages 4-13)
- Book to read that introduced body shapes during puberty: Celebrate Your Body (and Its Changes, Too!): The Ultimate Puberty Book for Girls (Celebrate You, 1), for Girls Ages 8-12: Taylor, Sonya Renee, Laureano, Bianca I.: 9781641521666: Amazon.com: Books (ages 9-10).
- Book about accepting yourself as you are; Rot, the Cutest in the World!: Clanton, Ben, Clanton, Ben: 9781481467629: Amazon.com: Books